Two words, governor: Man crush.
Just the way Michael Scott used to get all giddy around Ryan the temp, any semblance of common sense you may have possessed went out the window the first time you caught a whiff of Obama's aftershave. You dumped your old girlfriend, Hillary, like the political skank she is. Then, like the least pretty cheerleader on the squad, you threw yourself at the hunky freshman quarterback who hadn't even tossed a pass in a league game yet.
Well governor, you've had your 15 minutes of fame. I hope it was worth it.
Now on to important things.
Inspired by the prophet of our time, Barack Obama, my wife and I have designed a t-shirt that caputures one of his most inspiring phrases, "Typical white person." That pretty much describes me and, I'm guessing, you. We're hoping that our shirt will garner enough enthusiastic support to make middle class white folks everywhere forget smiley faces, Che Guevara and Hollister.
But for you, the highly favored readers of this blog, both of you, we have a special treat. When we submitted our design, we had to give it a name and make a few comments about it. I came up with four variations. Here they are:
- Plain and Proud of It. Typical, but not stereotypical! We may be the western world's fastest fading unethic majority, but we still have a lot to be proud of.
- Melanin Shmelanin! Favored by employers and policy makers for years, the typical white person may be be temporarily out of style, but we'll be back, baby!
- Hold the Pigment! Save money, hire the typical white person, the generic Homo Sapien!
- Proud To Be Pale. Just like ethic people, but without the garish skin pigmentation and melodious speech patterns.
Unfortunately, the folks at Threadless.com thought our entry was really just "word" shirt and didn't have complicated enough art. We may resubmit it as a type only entry. So, your challenge is to let me know which of the above witticisms would go best under "Typical White Person" on a t-shirt.
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