All the places I haven't seen Miley Cyrus

I live in Nashville right off Franklin Pike. Miley Cyrus lives right down the road in Franklin. It has recently come to my attention that blogs about Miley Cyrus get way more hits than mildly humorous blogs about global warming, so I want to tell you about all the times I haven't seen Miley Cyrus around town. (I haven't seen global warming yet either, but noooo, you don't care about that, even if my writing is on occasion mildly humorous.)

Christmas night we got home from visiting our youngest son in the LA area. When we got off the plane we didn't see Miley Cyrus in the airport. And ironically enough, we didn't see Miley Cyrus in Hollywood either when we took aforementioned youngest son to the Pantages theater (home of the Oscars from 1949 to 1959—that should be good for a few hits, don't you think?) to see Wicked featuring Erin Mackey, Teal Wicks, Derrick Williams, and Carol Kane, but not Miley Cyrus.

You might remember Carol Kane from her role as Simka in Taxi. It is interesting to note that Taxi was a hit sitcom on both ABC and NBC, garnering 18 Emmy awards during its run between 1978-1983, many years before Miley Cyrus was born in 1992. You do the math.

On our way back from the airport we almost stopped at an AM/PM mini mart to pick up milk. But when I saw that Miley Cyrus wasn't there, I just drove by. We had to skip our morning cereal the next day. Thank you Miley Cyrus.

Probably about once a week for the last month or so, my wife and I have been hitting Monell's Express for dinner on the way home and despite the fact that it is one of the most highly rated meat-and-threes in the area, so far no Miley Cyrus. This one is a little hard for me to comprehend.

Miley Cyrus held a free concert outside the Sommet Center a couple of months ago and my route to work took me right past the stage. But I was way too early and didn't see Miley Cyrus again.

I don't want to waste much more of your time describing all the places and times I haven't seen Miley Cyrus, so I'll finish this up with a quick list (apparently lists pull in the blog hits too):

1. Lovelace Cafe

2. Dollar General

3. Outside Ryman Auditorium

4. Lower Broadway

5. Upper Broadway

6. Frist Center for the Visual Arts

7. Kroegers

8. Green Hills Mall

9. Lake Radnor

10. All the places between above nine

So, Miley Cyrus, if you are reading this, how about hanging out in the Waverly-Belmont area one of these days? But call first and make sure I'm home.